I find my biggest source of stress and anxiety comes when I try and visualize my future. When I try and see the path that I think I need to take to get from A to B.
Whether I'm trying to figure out how to carve out my career; where I see myself living; what I envision for myself in retirement; whether I'll pass my EMBA; how I see my place within my circle of family and friends; if I'm going to buy a house; whether I plan on having any children or not... I end up feeling quite anxious and uneasy.
It doesn't matter if the questions come from my own heart or from inquiring minds around me (financial planners, family members, people I just meet...), as soon as they are released, I feel the weight of panic and noise settle in. The view is fuzzy - I have no clear picture in my head. I feel a strong sense of "I should know this answer!" and "What's going to happen to me?" These feelings pummel me and, like I would adjust a distorted tv channel, I feel compelled to try and fine tune myself. I feel compelled to have an answer and to KNOW the truth.
Whether I'm trying to figure out how to carve out my career; where I see myself living; what I envision for myself in retirement; whether I'll pass my EMBA; how I see my place within my circle of family and friends; if I'm going to buy a house; whether I plan on having any children or not... I end up feeling quite anxious and uneasy.
It doesn't matter if the questions come from my own heart or from inquiring minds around me (financial planners, family members, people I just meet...), as soon as they are released, I feel the weight of panic and noise settle in. The view is fuzzy - I have no clear picture in my head. I feel a strong sense of "I should know this answer!" and "What's going to happen to me?" These feelings pummel me and, like I would adjust a distorted tv channel, I feel compelled to try and fine tune myself. I feel compelled to have an answer and to KNOW the truth.
It takes me a while to remember that the scratchy radio station in my mind is a good thing! I believe the universe is trying to remind me that there IS NO road to the future. The road exists today. The path I need to follow is one that is created by my actions and my presence right now. If I'm not here, then I'm not carving out what I need to, to get to wherever I need to go. Reminding myself of that. Taking that deep breath and exhaling. Being in the moment. That is where the answers exist.
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