Not Enough

"And when they say, you're not that strong.
You're not that weak.
It's not your fault.

And when you climb, up to your hell.
Up to that place.
I hope you're well."

- "Not Enough" by Our Lady Peace

Laughter

I spent some time with my sisters this weekend. We got on the subject of people's perceptions of others and how they often differ from a person's own sense of self. One of my sisters mentioned that people see her as being very serious, cool, professional. And that she doesn't see herself that way at all. We reflected on that for a minute, and then she turned to me. "You aren't like that. You laugh all the time." I laughed (naturally) and said, "Yes, I do. I love to laugh."

She asked me what it was that I found funny. As if there was something she was missing out on. Some formula or logic to it. I just shrugged and said "I laugh at everything. Life makes me laugh."

And it does. I can't tell you why I laugh. I just do. I think it's all there for the taking, sometimes you just need to let go. Find your inner silly switch, pretend you are 5 years old and happy, and marvel at all the joy there is in life. I definitely have a silly switch, and I like it when it's turned ON! ; )

Unspoken

There are times when I can't speak about things, but the words still want to come out. I can't look at someone in the eyes, but everything in my heart is there.

If I could, I'd tell you all this. And maybe you can feel it when I hug you. I hope I find my voice soon, because you need to know this.

unspoken

what happened to your spirit?
where is your soul?
i find you alone and trapped in your darkness
can you see my light?
can you see my outstretched hand?

I am here, I am not much to look at, but I am here.
I can be a friend and a guide.
I can show you about love, about how to find your smile.
Where did your smile go?

your body is cold, there is warmth in my arms.
my hands can be gentle
you need to be touched so carefully
your wounded heart is beating so softly

I don't know how to reach you
where is the girl i met a few years ago?
with laughter in her eyes
and a lightness about her?

painted black, you find comfort in the dark.
the anger speaks to you and comforts you
there are colors in the world
i want to help you fill your shadows with color
draw outside the lines

--lml jan 5/06