Recipe for taking Big Bites

"To get the full flavor out of life, take big bites!"

How d'ya do it?

1. Take one bite of being asked to work on a cool project all weekend long (and it's still going on...)

2. Mix well with the MIND BLOWING sensual massage workshop that I experienced last night (OMG!)

3. Add a little adrenaline (ok, a lot of adrenaline... and a lot of coffee)

4. Blend in a fascinating week of exploring things that pushed me outside my comfort zone.

5. Sprinkle in some gorgeous friends and beautiful connections.

6. Don't forget a little taste of Spring and Sunshine!

Let it bubble for just a bit.

Et voila! : )

Bloom where you are planted

There can be beautiful possibility that comes from this difficult place; cherished memories, love, laughter, even. I hope that you can find it.

Powder Fix

Snowboarding in 5 feet of powder is an amazing feeling. It's soft, it makes turning sluggish, and it's a joy to crash on. The snow fell and fell and fell on Sunday, making our adventure on the slopes of Squaw Valley incredible! The hill was dead, there was hardly anyone there. The weather alternated between complete whiteouts, because the snow was falling so hard, and sunshine pouring on our faces. I had such a blast!!!!



I also got to visit some of my old stomping grounds - my family's cottage in Lake Tahoe, and my house in Tiburon (Marin County). Too cool to drive past places and yell "OMG, I used to... there. I played there. I went to school there. I remember a time when I... there." It was fun! : )

family and continuity

The only time that I have a powerful draw to have a child of my own is when I think of my father.

When I stop and think of my father getting older and his years winding down. When I think of him reflecting on his life, preparing himself for his passing, wondering what kind of legacy he's going to leave behind, what kind of footprint he's made on this world - I have a deep feeling that I want to have my own child.

That, in some way, I want to be able to demonstrate to him that he does have a legacy, that he did have an influence in his lifetime, that he gave me a great gift by being a force in my life, and that it's something I have not taken for granted. It's something I deeply acknowledge - in the same way that I throw my face into the wind and inhale - because I know that air is required to live.

I suspect that I will have a family of my own in my lifetime, but I don't know what it will look like. What shape it will take. Who it will be composed of. I don't think that it matters to me what my family will be. I simply know that I will have one. A patchwork quilt of people that will help to keep me warm and feeling loved. And with whom I can share myself.

I think that is something I want to share with my dad. That, while it may not be a nuclear family, while it may not be something that he is familiar with, I will have one. And in that simple way, I will continue a tradition that means so much to him. In my own way.

indulgences :)

I had a moment this afternoon when I left work and I knew that no one knew where I was. No one knew where I was going, what I was doing. No one needed to check in on me. I had no obligations, no expectations. I didn't have to be anywhere at a certain time. I didn't tell someone I'd do something for them. I was totally on my own. And I realized that I *love* that feeling. I grinned like an idiot when I drove out of the parking garage. It was like a secret indulgence, totally guilt free and gorgeous. I turned my phone off. I bought myself a treat. I cranked up the tunes and sang at the top of my lungs.

I felt like I was free - to go anywhere, to do anything that I wanted, and to be ME.

Meh

I got my first flame last night. A (not so) anonymous person emailed me to say that s/he was bored of reading the same blog entry and wanted something new. S/he said to use "F$ck You" as a starting point. That it might spark some creative juices on my end, and help me write something.

Huh.

I don't do well with harassment. I am not someone who would ever sign up for the military. I kind of short circuit when I am forced to do something.

But... I am an Aries and I do like a challenge. ; )

Well, here I am, staring stupefied at a computer screen, blinking sleepily, wishing I had a steaming cup of strong, dark, black Sumatra in my hands.

"Alright let's think of something funny to post. A funny story. An anecdote from work."

"I'm too tired... I'm just not very funny at 6 am. I'd rather just crawl back into my warm bed."

"I'm not going to let go of this. We've been challenged. Can we write under pressure? Inquiring minds want to know."

"Bed. Sleep. Just call in sick and take the next two days off. You know you waaaant it!"

"Ha! Nice try. There is way too much going on. I have piles of work to do, and I'm booked solid with meetings for the next two days. Even if I had the time to take off, I couldn't. Plus, I want to file my taxes, clean up my room, water my plants..."

"You are too uptight! God, it's true! You are like Monica from friends. Life is meant to just be. Chillax a little. Spend some time with you. Pick up a good book, curl up by the fire, spoil yourself."

"Oh, shit, that's right. My book club! I need to get started on the book we selected. A Complicated Kindness. I'll have to go and buy it today."

"That's what weekends are for. I think you just need to pick one thing to do tonight, and leave the rest. You are cluttering up your mind."

"If I don't do these things, they won't get done. And it's not as if you are going to help me out. Just look at you, kicking back in your PJs, and playing on the computer. We have to get moving."

"I want coffee."

"We don't have coffee in the house. That's another thing I've got to get on the way home from work. Hm, we'll have to stop before we head to Oxford Station. Why don't they open a Bridgehead in Barrhaven, it would be so much more convenient?"

"Bed?"

"Nope, it's time to hit the showers, you lazy ass!"

... and look at that, here it is. : )