the seed

When I think of each day that I am not living to my fullest potential

I feel like I'm wasting away... getting old and drying up

I feel that the juice of my soul, ready to burst forth like a fountain

with all the raw and untouched energy of liquid and fire

is hardening and cracking

aging me beyond my years

I want the life I dream of.

What whispers to me in the small hours of the morning, before the light comes and the truth stands before me in the mirror.

Who are you to dream a grandiose dream for yourself?

Who are you to dare to push in this way?

Why don't you settle for something different?

Why don't you just accept your limitations?

I speak the words of presence and now,

Of being in the moment and letting my path unfold in its time.

But my voice falters and I hear the doubt creeping in.

the desire. the hunger. the knowledge of who I am.

Of who I want to be.

And I see a rare glimpse of confidence,

glowing like a precious stone that I cradle in my heart.

The seed that I nurture and encourage and water with my tears.

- LML October 27, 2010

Impressions of Australia and Shanghai

While I was on the plane, I captured the impressions that I had of Australia (Sydney and Brisbane) and Shanghai.

Australia

- beautiful, clean, gorgeous beaches

- the warmth of the sunshine

- clear air / blue skies

- cheeky people (smartass comments, sassy humor, sarcasm)

- easy pace of life

- love of sport / fit physical people

- unexpected, archaic attitudes towards women

- beach culture that makes you want to find a little house and a reason to be there

- very expensive real estate

- pride in home ownership

- difficult to get into the country

- beautiful people in Brisbane

Shanghai

- huge, impressive architecture

- capitalism is everywhere

- warm, friendly smiles from curious people

- smoggy and hazy

- no real blue skies

- no matter where we went, we were photographed. Eating, laughing, shopping, whatever....

- there was a Disneyland effect as we toured the factories and Suzhou industrial park - of being shown only what the government wants you to see

- people, people everywhere & grey concrete - not many places of stillness

- huge "farms" of apartments that covered blocks and blocks of the city

- great nightlife

- shopping

Obviously, there is so much more that I can write, but I know how limited my free time is right now. School ends January 17th, and I look forward to being in a place where I can explore my thoughts and capture my feelings in this space. Until then.... enjoy.