Grading my learning

The grades have just started coming in. OK, one grade arrived today. One single grade for a 4 page assignment that was due the second week of class. Irrespective of the medium that the mark arrived in (an email instead of being handed out in class), I'm immediately right back there. In class. I've got the knot in my stomach and I'm fighting back tears. I'm thinking why am I so stupid? Why couldn't I have done better? I feel that deep yearning to want to succeed and, almost as quickly, the resigned "I'm not surprised, what did you expect?" shrugging of my shoulders. I am determined to change this habit - this old pattern of response and reflex. I WANT to learn. I want to improve. I want to be excited. I want to try harder. And yes, I want to do better. But I also, desperately, want to be OK with who I am.

That's going to be the hardest lesson for me to learn.

Good Friday to you!

I am happy today and I thought I'd share some of my soul smiles:

- Obama won a Nobel Peace Prize!

- It's a long weekend and I have an extra day off!

- I am reading a fantastic article about managing your energy and it's reminding me about the simple things in life.

- I am off to visit a good friend this weekend. I am going to soak up the outdoors, see some horses, and spend hours (hopefully) drinking red wine and catching up. Food for my soul, indeed!

- I'm feeling on top of the homework for the next couple of weeks. (Steady as she goes….)

- It's Thanksgiving - the perfect time of the year to reflect on how grateful I am and how wonderful my life is.

Be well everyone!
Lisa xo