I'm heading off for a wee bit of an adventure.....
Feel free to catch the excitement here. http://leprechaunlala.blogspot.com/
See you at the end of May! *wave*
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Re-assessing my commitments
A friend of mine made a comment to me yesterday about me needing to take time to reassess my commitments. It struck a deep chord with me.
I realized that I've significantly scaled back my interactions with
friends:
Many of whom I haven't seen in months; some of whom I haven't talked to in years...
family:
I used to call everyone on a weekly basis, and now I send a few email updates a month...
volunteer organizations:
I am taking a hiatus from Search and Rescue Global 1 because I don't feel like I can commit appropriately and I don't want my lack of commitment to affect the safety and professionalism of the other members of the group.
I am thinking about severing my official Big Sister relationship with Little Lisa because she is struggling so much, and I so miss that girl.
(Both of these organizations are amazing organizations - I have been involved with them for 4 and 6 years, respectively. I just don't have the energy or desire to do this right now.)
exercise:
OMG! I can't remember the last time I rode a bike (two years, perhaps?). I run/do the gym maybe once a week at the most. I used feel be so active - working out for at least an hour daily. And I loved the way that I felt. Where is my motivation??? How can it just disappear?
Interesting that my horoscope this week says the following:
ARIES (March 21-April 19): "Any idiot can face a crisis," said Russian writer Anton Chekhov. "It is the day-to-day living that wears you out." Your main assignment in the coming weeks, Aries, will be to use your ingenuity to keep from being burned out by the subtle and minor trials of the daily grind. It won't be as dramatic a challenge as some of the epic travails you dealt with in March, but in my opinion it will be just as heroic.
so where does that leave me?
Perhaps by making these decisions, and closing some of these doors, metaphorically, I will be giving myself the space and opportunity to be open to something new.
Or maybe I am just a total flake.
I haven't quite figured out which is true.
I realized that I've significantly scaled back my interactions with
friends:
Many of whom I haven't seen in months; some of whom I haven't talked to in years...
family:
I used to call everyone on a weekly basis, and now I send a few email updates a month...
volunteer organizations:
I am taking a hiatus from Search and Rescue Global 1 because I don't feel like I can commit appropriately and I don't want my lack of commitment to affect the safety and professionalism of the other members of the group.
I am thinking about severing my official Big Sister relationship with Little Lisa because she is struggling so much, and I so miss that girl.
(Both of these organizations are amazing organizations - I have been involved with them for 4 and 6 years, respectively. I just don't have the energy or desire to do this right now.)
exercise:
OMG! I can't remember the last time I rode a bike (two years, perhaps?). I run/do the gym maybe once a week at the most. I used feel be so active - working out for at least an hour daily. And I loved the way that I felt. Where is my motivation??? How can it just disappear?
Interesting that my horoscope this week says the following:
ARIES (March 21-April 19): "Any idiot can face a crisis," said Russian writer Anton Chekhov. "It is the day-to-day living that wears you out." Your main assignment in the coming weeks, Aries, will be to use your ingenuity to keep from being burned out by the subtle and minor trials of the daily grind. It won't be as dramatic a challenge as some of the epic travails you dealt with in March, but in my opinion it will be just as heroic.
so where does that leave me?
Perhaps by making these decisions, and closing some of these doors, metaphorically, I will be giving myself the space and opportunity to be open to something new.
Or maybe I am just a total flake.
I haven't quite figured out which is true.
Learning...
I have been doing so much learning in the last two years. When I think about what I've challenged myself with, where I am now, what I've seen and done, what I've changed, how I've grown, how I've bloomed... I just smile. wow.
I don't think the learning ever stops - nor do I want it to stop! I think that as long as I am awake, it is mine for the taking. To drink deeply, to embrace with fully open arms, to jump in with both feet, to drench my soul. YAY!
After awhile you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean possession
and company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises and you begin to accept
your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your roads today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine
burns if you get too much so you plant your
own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn...
Veronica A. Shoffstall
I don't think the learning ever stops - nor do I want it to stop! I think that as long as I am awake, it is mine for the taking. To drink deeply, to embrace with fully open arms, to jump in with both feet, to drench my soul. YAY!
After awhile you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean possession
and company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises and you begin to accept
your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your roads today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine
burns if you get too much so you plant your
own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn...
Veronica A. Shoffstall
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