Tick tock

I made a decision this year. A conscious choice to leave a good job that was, in a very specific way, toxic. A choice to throw my destiny into the air. To do something I have always wanted to do - live overseas - and to seize this time, this opportunity of freedom and un-encumberment, to travel.

So.... the time is near. My first adventure, six weeks in London, is almost here. I'm nervous and happy and sad and thrilled all rolled into one. I find that so funny.

I know I will be away from some really incredible people in my life who are so much a part of my fabric. My being. They are friends and lovers and soul twins and safety nets. They are people and places where I feel whole. Where I feel free to be me. Something I have grown to love and take for granted these last 9 years.

And people have asked me why I am leaving. Like I'm breaking up with all of them. Like I am destroying something so good. For what? Selfishness?

I know I will be forging new relationships with my sister and her family, in ways that our one week Christmas or summer vacations can't give me. I am really looking forward to that. I worry that I will rock their boat. I worry that our lives will be so different in how we live them and that the adjustment might be taxing for everyone. But I do believe we have a strong enough communication foundation to really kick back and enjoy the experience. It will be new for all of us.

And I plan on writing. About the people I meet. The feelings I have being "away". What I learn. What I see. What I experience.

So....for now. Give me a good send off. Wish me success and happiness.
I'll keep you posted.

~ lala
Jan 28, 2013

Rapture

My eyes can't cry much longer
I feel so overwhelmed by these emotions...

Freedom
Joy
Gratefulness
The space to celebrate the moment

The rapture of feeling life, liberty and intense love.

~ lml
January 17, 2013