the rollercoaster

I've sent out 88 applications for jobs since 2010. Not including the ones I've tracked down and applied for online and through word-of-mouth.

88 applications. Over the course of 3 years, during EMBA school, working at the CMA, Oxfam, traveling, etc. That's about 30 a year.

88 organizations that have resonated with me. People and roles that sound amazing and make me somewhat crazy with anticipation and enthusiasm and want.

Can you imagine riding a roller coaster with 88 hills? 88 times of clawing your way to the top, waiting for the brakes to fail, feeling like you are going to hurtle backwards to your death, only to find that you are at the top, with just enough time to catch your breath, before you go screaming down and down and down.....

Well I'm still riding this roller coaster. I keep finding new hills to climb - amazing new heights and incredible views - and new lows to flatten me.

The ride hasn't gone off the rails yet, but I am feeling a little queasy.

~ lml
March 26, 2013

Ahh... sweet Friday

This morning, upon hearing the words "Happy Friday" bounce from my lips, my niece screamed at the top of her lungs "NO! No! NOOO! It's not happy! No! I don't want you to say it's happy!" 

I was a little taken aback. I love Friday. It's sacred for me. I love the way it pounces on you and reminds you of the ripe, fullness of the weekend ahead. I love how it feels decadent - all this time available to you. Leaps and heaps of indulgent, carefree space. All for you.

It's a happy time! 

Today, I am feeling grateful for this opportunity to be present and to nurture my own gratefulness for being alive, being healthy, for having incredible friendships and for feeling this huge capacity to love in my body. It feels like this untapped well... so much space available to feel; so much potential there it moves me to tears. 

Happy Friday!