Space

There's no space for me
When you burst into the room
Eclipsing my self with your tempest and fire.

There's no space for me
Amidst your dreams and passions and tears;
Your grandiose gestures;
Your eloquence and intelligence.

I feel small in your presence
Unsure and timid.
Lost and tentative.

The noise is deafening, at times.
And my world starts to tunnel
Strangling my energy;
Suffocating the breathing room that I have left.

I know this is my challenge -
that the universe brings us what we need to learn from;
what we need to grow from;
opportunities to regain our footing
and tear down the old walls that formed in our psyches.

But this one is hard for me.
Finding my voice....
that seems so hollow and broken;
carried away on the wind that rushes forth from you
pummeling my diaphragm
until I can do no more than croak.

Muted, I blink, and retreat. To lick my wounds.
To recover some of my spirit. Some of my joy.
I'm losing my joy.

There will be another time
and another place for me
to assert myself.
To create an emotional sanctuary for my own being -
A place that can exist comfortably in your presence and in your essence.
Easily. Honestly.

But it's not tonight. And I shut the door
with a welcome sigh at the silence.

-- lml Feb 11, 2008