smiling

when i feel the most troubled
when i feel prodded and poked
achy and uncomfortable in my body

when i feel feverish and fired up
raging and raucous
when pointed barbs embed themselves
just under the surface of my skin

and i feel that tumble of emotions
bouncing against themselves with their urgency
to spill forth and assert themselves

i remember to smile
to myself

i feel my face relax
i feel my eyes moisten
i feel quiet

and like i would at a child as i watched their antics, i smile with indulgence
at myself

and i watch as, for the briefest of moments, the turmoil is stilled.