Well, tonight I feel compelled to write. I am feeling creative and inspired. Feeling like I want to draw and write. I want to learn to draw figure studies - male and female nudes. I want to write a short story. I even have the opening lines for my story. I want to travel the world. I want to drop everything I have, everything I know, and take off and travel the world. I want to be bold and daring. Be free. Be interesting. Be open to everything around me.
I am struggling with having these feelings. I am worried that I want to flee because I am dissatisfied with something in my life right now? What could I be dissatisfied with? Where do I begin to make changes that will give me that kind of outlet - that will inspire me, help me feel like I am exploring new parts of me.
Where can I go to fill myself - fill those parts of me that are hungry?
And yet, here I am sitting here on my couch, eating pretzels, watching Friends, and surfing with my laptop. Do I just expect all of this to just happen to me? That my doorbell is going to ring and suddenly I'll be transported to another universe and that art and magic is going to surround me and fill my senses? That I'll be exposed to new and interesting people? That I'll begin to explore myself and my sense of self in different ways?
How do I start to create it? To have all of that infiltrate my world, as it is now? Without escaping?
2 comments:
Even the longest journey begins with a single step.
I sometimes forget this. Thank you for the reminder. I really needed to hear that today!
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